So what *have* I been doing?

The Issue -

Root: I'm fed up with not having the supportive real-life tarot friendship I crave...

Solar Plexus: but it's in my nature not to put myself out there socially.

The Fix -

Crown: I need to rekindle my connection with Spirit...

Third Eye: because I've been neglectful of this constant and caring support system.

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I pulled one card just for a "weather report". Of course, the theme took me back to last week's post. So I pulled the rest for "Okay, what do I about it?"

This is the second time recently that I've had it pointed out to me that I'm not spending enough time with Spirit. I think it's time I listened.

deck: Feel Your Chakras Oracle by Andi Taylor

Connection

The fact is, I'm lonely. 

I want so desperately to share my fascination with tarot with someone else who gets it. Someone who gets it in the way I do. And who isn't just a name on the internet.

So two things happen:

I spend way too much time scrolling on social media looking for a connection, even though they are just names.

I don't touch my cards because I've got no one to tangibly share the experience with.

I decided to find out what would happen if I didn't go on social media this whole weekend. This blog doesn't count. It's not exactly a hive of social activity.

I got more "other" stuff done – listed things on eBay, read a book, did some crochet, blogged... All things I haven't touched while I've been endlessly scrolling.

Still can't bring myself to pull cards, though. And when I try to think of some way to motivate myself, I feel that tug in the pit of my stomach. A combination of fear and sadness.

The point of this post? I don't know. I just wanted to say it out loud, I guess. Maybe other people feel the same way, and seeing they're not the only one might help somehow.

Of course I appreciate when people react to the stuff I put out there. It's nice to make those little connections. 

But the online tarot community is not a friend.

(image: Creatures Oracle by Sara Kathleen. My new best friend.)

Spread - "Doing the Thing" by Shonna Hill (Ace of Stars Tarot)

Click on image to go to Shonna's post

I have been resisting working with my cards. I'd like to know why and how I can push through the resistance.

Eva's Tarot (Таро Евы) by Eva Aus

What am I trying to do? I know what I'm trying to do, so I see this card as my motivation - 

4 of Coins: I'm trying to grasp what's precious to me. My connection with the cards - hold it, feel it, claim it. Grandfather clock: time is my most precious commodity, and I always feel it slipping away.

What am I afraid of?

Knight of Swords: Being too analytical, too cerebral in my approach. All I'm doing lately is translating LWBs, collating meanings and thinking about reading. I'm not actually doing any reading.

How am I resisting?

4 of Cups: I'm doing nothing. Just sitting around feeling dissatisfied, distracted, frustrated. I contemplate but do nothing.

What attitude will help me get started?

4 of Wands: Celebrate where I am now, even if there's more to be done. Enjoyment, appreciation. Take a break from the mental and spend some time on spiritual. 4 + Wands: stable action. 

What first step can I take? 

Ace of Wands: Start the Thing!

What do I have to look forward to?

5 of Cups: Oh!? Isolation? Loss? 5 + Coins: disrupted habits. Moving from 4 coins to 5 coins is progress, I guess. Maybe I'm trying to hang onto outmoded forms/ideas and progress means the loss of those things. She is praying: connecting with Spirit.

Interesting that the two "action" positions are both Wands.